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Tell Your Side During Divorce Mediation: Child Custody Issues in California Divorce

June 27, 2013
Click the photo to visit David's website

Click the photo to visit David’s website

This is the seventh in a multi-part series by A Better Divorce member David Kuroda, LCSW Division Chief, Mediation and Conciliation Service Superior Court of Los Angeles (ret.) titled CHILD CUSTODY ISSUES: AVOIDING TRIAL, RESPONSES TO THE UNPRECEDENTED REDUCTIONS IN COURT FUNDING – A BILLIONAIRE CHOOSES COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE.  The article is one of 16 in the family reference materials of The Family Law Symposium, the major family law event for attorneys in So. California.  Click here to read through more articles by David.

THE MEDIATION PROCESS GIVES PEOPLE A CHANCE TO TELL THEIR STORIES

When California passed the first no-fault divorce law in the nation, the reasons for the divorce were no longer relevant. Seasoned practitioners know the importance of telling the “story” of the divorce. It is by listening to the most profound issues in a changing or ending relationship that healing and resolution begin. The deepest feelings of hurt, abandonment, anger, revenge and ambivalence need to be expressed and understood. It is the experienced mental health professional who can do this in the context of mediation of custody and visitation disputes.

The attorney who attempts to dismiss feelings of a parent in order to quickly resolve the legal issues may experience an impasse. An inexperienced attorney once made a serious error in a conference when she said “Don’t talk about what happened. The past is not important; we need to talk about the future.” It’s true that family law orders focus on what will occur in the future, but to dismiss the past as not being important is a disservice to clients and doesn’t recognize important parts of our lives. Mental health mediators are often able to help parents express important feelings as a prelude to resolving the parenting plan issues.

  1. COLLABORATIVE FAMILY LAW – THE LATEST THING IN DIVORCE ACCORDING TO THE MOVIE “JUNO” – Roy Disney, Robin Williams and T. Boone Pickens chose Collaborative Divorce, Jamie and Frank McCourt Did Not.

Next week we talk more about Collaborative Divorce

David Kuroda is the former Division Chief, Family Court Services, Superior Court of Los Angeles and directed the Mediation and Conciliation Service, the first and largest court mediation program in the nation.

In his 18 years with the Superior Court, he was responsible for the district courts, the PACT and Contemnors’ Programs, Divorce Seminars, and Visitation Monitors. Under his leadership, the service set high standards for the mediation service and other innovative programs serving children and families of divorce.

He has served on numerous committees with the Judicial Council, Los Angeles County Bar Executive Committee, Family Law Section, and has collaborated on numerous programs with the bar associations of the South Bay, Beverly Hills, San Fernando Valley, and Long Beach. He’s the past vice-president of A Better Divorce: A group of collaborative professionals; he also serves as vice-president of the California Social Welfare Archives., on he advisory board of the Los Angeles Collaborative Family Law Association, and was honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award by the National Association of Social Workers (NASW) California Chapter and with the George Nickel Award by the California Social Welfare Archives, USC.

In addition to directing the program, he has personally provided mediation services to over 7,000 families from the working poor to the wealthy and famous, including high profile cases and movie producers. Virtually all parents, whatever their backgrounds, love their children, and with some guidance, have been able to work together, even after divorce. Mr. Kuroda has provided training for graduate students from USC, and has taught professionals child custody mediation.

Always consult a professional in your area.

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